4my5babies

I meant to weigh in yesterday but today will do :)… I hit 220, which is pretty great, haha.  I’m fitting into jeans I haven’t worn in 4 years (I know, my wardrobe sucks to have clothes from 4 years ago…but you know the whole “some day I’m gonna fit into those again” conversation many of us have with ourselves…) I feel so good about this accomplishment and only want to keep going.  My next mini-goal will be 207 because I haven’t seen that number since 2001′ish… I can’t wait.

Officially weighing in at 221.6 this morning.  It’s so close to my 1st mini goal of 220, I can taste it, haha.  Surely without the last 2 weeks of family parties (and the evil chocolate I succumbed to this weekend )  I would have made it by now… but it’s all good!  I know I’m going to make it in no time.  Hubs is starting to say things like, “Dang you’re skinny!”, and that is enough to make me laugh because I’m so far from it, but it still feels REALLY nice to know he’s seeing a change.  He’s looking great himself… down to 273 this morning! (his start was 285 about a month ago).  Anyway, just a little update on me. ^.^

I find myself quite afraid to take a day off of working out.  I have this history of doing so well and sticking with something, but the moment I let it slide a little, the next thing I know I’m rolling downhill at full speed!  I try to remind myself that my body isn’t a machine and it could use a break every now and then, but mentally/emotionally it just nags at me.  So even with a busy life with the kids and everything, I’m really trying hard to keep my momentum.  It seems like my schedule is kinda all over the place so I don’t really have a set time for working out.  I prefer outdoor exercise in the mornings or indoor exercise at night. :)  Seems like I only fit in one or the other though.  Yesterday I got up super early to walk close to 4 miles with 2 of my friends.  The route was very hilly and they walked about 50% faster than I was used to.  But I managed to keep up. :P  Without the monstrous double stroller to worry about, it wasn’t too bad.  Today I took a late morning walk with my two littlest kids in that monstrous double stroller (and the dog for his exercise) and was able to walk 3.5 miles.  That was a first!  Tomorrow (Thurs.) I’m going to start walking with my  friend at 5:45am.  She is having a bariatric surgery ( the “sleeve”)  in the beginning of next year and is required to lose 15 lbs. by then.  So it’s more of a support role for her than a beneficial walk for me, so I’ll have to still make time for my own workout later.  I’m very happy to support her this way though.  She definitely needs the extra push to get in the exercise!  I wish she would try a different approach to getting healthier, but she’s convinced this is the way to go.  I just hope she’s really ready.  I can only imagine what it would be like to go through such a drastic measure only to find it wasn’t a “magic fix-all”.  In any case, her decision is her own and I am going to do my best to be a good friend and get her through it.   On one hand I’m happy she’s taking steps to lose the weight (she’s about 120 lbs. overweight) but on the other it just seems so unnatural and I question her commitment to fulfill the other part of it.  It’s still going to require diet and exercise after and she’s never been one to do those things. What are your guys’ thoughts on weight-loss surgery?

Well last week turned out to be pretty good, despite  a low point there in the middle :P… I’m finally figuring out the food journal.  Just took some time to adjust from journaling with pencil/paper.  I’ve been able to stick with eating healthy portions/choices and keeping up on the exercise too.  So excited because this morning I was 225.4!  That’s the first time I’ve seen that number in years.  So, I can feel there has been a change in me… I feel really committed and the best part is I don’t feel like I am suffering, lol.  Back in ‘05 I went on the South Beach diet for 4 months… I got down to 208 lbs.  but it was so difficult that I gave up.  I’m not the best cook in the world and I certainly don’t have an excess of funds to buy all the special little ingredients.  Some of that stuff I’ve never heard of, lol.  Anyway, I guess the excitement comes from the fact that I don’t feel that way at all this time. :)  I can do this.

P.S.  Quick question about weight tracking… how do you all handle that?  Say you weighed 200 even last time you weighed and this time you weigh 199.4… do you change your ticker to 199 or do you wait till you have gone down to 199 even, or in the 198.+ range?  Sometimes I wish my scale didn’t have the (.) …  Thanks for any input.

I think I come from some opposite planet or something… When we were having our cloudy/rainy days I felt on top of the world.   Now that the sun is blazing down on me again, I feel so down. :(  I still made sure to get out and take a walk and just push through the nagging inside to just lay on the couch.  I’m afraid I’m going to be fighting the urge to eat and eat and eat…  I made the mistake of taking one teensy-weensy bite of a fluffy sugar cookie, last night,  that was brought home after my daughters band performance on Wed.,  and it was like, POW!  I was instantly craving more! I refrained from doing that, but then hubs brought home a chocolate bar (which we shared).  I guess there are going to be days and times like this…when not the best choices are made.  I just have to make sure not to use it as an excuse to do more bad, ya know?    I think a lot of it is the past week is catching up to me… car troubles (there goes savings), sick kids (especially the baby who wasn’t handling it well at all), my son getting into trouble at school, home-work hell  (it’s unbelievable how much homework they have nowadays)… I don’t know…Maybe I could use a nap, lol.  I think this mama needs a time out.

One of the main things that has kept me true to eating better (without binging or making bad choices) has been my snacks!  Just when I’m starting to feel that grumble in my tummy it’s usually snack time. :)  I try to keep it a nice balance of protein/carbs like a string cheese with a serving of wheat thins or  an ounce of nuts with a serving of grapes.  So I’m just looking for more ideas/options for a healthy snack.. maybe something that you guys have found that helps you stay on track.  Thanks for any ideas!

Since my hubs and I have been eating healthier and exercising it has opened up a lot of discussion around the house about being healthy in general.  Our kids have been so excited to see the changes happening.  So I figure it is a good time to start making some “family” changes.  So last night I told the kids they were going to be required to eat a vegetable every night with dinner.  I don’t care which one, but they have to choose one.  The choices last night were baby carrots, green beans, or salad.  All my girls have always been pretty good about eating their veggies, but I was expecting nothing but resistance from my 9 yr. old son, Joseph.  But you know what!?  He just looked at me and smiled and said, “I’m going to try something I never tried before- Green Beans!”  He was so proud of his choice that he went and told his sister that he was going to eat green beans and that they were going to be delicious, lol.  So he ate his green beans!  And he actually liked them.  I am totally amazed and pleased. =)  Just goes to show ya never know what can happen if you just try.

I’ve been working on the treadmill for over a month and just decided last night, that maybe I could give jogging a try.  Nothing crazy.. just mixing in a minute of jogging every few minutes of walking.  Well I did it!  I’m excited because I have never done that before.  It felt pretty darn good too :P.  I have asthma and joint issues and being 229 I was a bit doubtful, but I managed just fine.  Just wanted to share my little achievement. :)  And now I’m going to get out and enjoy our misty morning… I can’t help but wish it were raining, but at least I can take a walk in it this way.

So, I didn’t have the best day yesterday… It started out way earlier than normal and I spent the majority of it outside of my house.  I try to do wholesale shopping every 2 weeks (payday ) and that’s what I did.  Normally I can pace myself and get it done in time to come home at a decent hour and eat my own food.  However, it just so happens that I took my almost-12-yr. old daughter… lol… all I can say is that we spent WAY too much time looking at clothes and halloween costume ideas!  We ended up needing to stop for lunch somewhere. Then last night I had a mini girls night out with my best friend and so I had my 2nd fast food for the day, ugh.  Anyway, today I’m jumping right back on the wagon.  :)  I did have some great news this morning!  My hubs, who is willingly taking this weight-loss journey with me, weighed in this morning and is down to 280!  He has lost 3 pounds this week!  I’m really proud of him.

       Well lets see… where do I begin? :)  I am 31 years old… I have 5 beautiful babies that I am blessed by every day.  Yes, challenged too!  I have been married for 12 1/2 years to a very good guy.  He gets me and who I am… where I come from… he is my truest friend.  I am here because I have struggled with being overweight my whole life.  Not severely, but enough to set me apart from my more fit peers.  I suffered 9 years of sexual abuse (age 4-13)  at the hands of my step-dad.  Someone who was supposed to care for me, protect me, and help me become the person I should be.  As a result of that experience I have often felt ashamed, isolated,  poor self-worth, low confidence, etc., etc.,… and unfortunately I learned how to be an emotional eater very young.  I have 8 brothers who were all exceptionally athletic and handsome… and I was always the shy and plump girl in my step-fathers shadow.  To be “daddy’s little girl” was a title I wore and a condition that withered me from the inside out.  Ever since, it has been a long road of counseling, tests of faith, learning to trust, and learning to love myself.  I have started a positive change physically, but it also runs deep emotionally.  Today I believe I am worthwhile… I have REAL purpose and value.  I have REAL joy and hope for the future.  I’m ready to enjoy life more fully.  I want to be here for my kids for many many years to come.  I want to grow old with my sweetie.  I want to live… and so I am here to hold myself accountable and share my journey with anyone who would like to share in it.  :) 

Hopeful Jenny